New Contest: Help the Tea Party Name Their New Magazine

The Tea Party is about to release a new magazine. Obviously, they desperately need our help naming it.

Post your ideas to twitter #newsweak

Top ideas so far:

Pork Illustrated
Hannity FairVague
National Xenophobic

So help a movement out and post your now.

First Ever BiFocalPoint Douchey Point of the Month

Last month, BiFocalPoint introduced its BifocalPoint Point-of-the-Month. The honor went to Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL) for his great work of working the facts and using context in talking about renewing Bush's tax cuts for the wealthiest of Americans. See full accolades here.

Well this month, unfortunately we are going to have add a new segment, the BiFocalPoint Douchey-Point-of-the-Month. We hate to stoop to this level, we typically try and stay above it, but read on and see exactly where we are coming from. If at the end of this post you think that we were out of line, please tell us how you think we should have responded.

Now many people know Santorum for his particularly disgusting comments a few years ago that did not outright condone Priests molesting children, but essentially equated it with homosexuality. His take was that while it was wrong, it was really no worse than any two grownmen consensually touching one another. The problem was not with the Church or with the priests themselves, rather with society, especially the media and academia. So yeah, he is a real class act.

Well, apparently Santorum is eyeing a run at the White House for 2012 and he decided that as the Catholic Church is no longer a lead in the daily news, he better say something new and disgusting, just to make himself once again a household name. It is for these efforts that Rick "cum-shot" Santorum is being awarded the coveted BiFocalPoint Douchey-Point-of-the-Month. Congratulations Rick Santorum, we all knew that you could do it.

Okay, now to his douchey point. Yesterday, Rick said that he was surprised at Obama's stance on abortion, seeing as how the President is African-American. He went so far as to say that Obama's stance was "remarkable." Now at first glance I assumed that this was a racist comment that was at least attempting to get at a bigger issue. African-American women currently get abortions at a rate of 3 to 1 over women of other races. I assumed that Santorum was saying something along the lines of, "You know Barack, abortion affects your people way out of proportion with the rest of society. How can you not come out againt it in order to save all of these innocent black babies?"

Now this comment is racist and ridiculuos in several ways. First of all, it assumes that President Obama is an African-American first and the President of the United States second. By that logic, George W. Bush might have better spent his time in the oval office pushing independence for the Lone Star State, Bill Clinton for increased funding for school band and JFK for a deeper involvement in the Church. More importantly, it assumes that all African-Americans should be against abortion, which is simply absurd. Should all Irish-Americans support prohibition, since there are higher trends of alcoholism in the Irish community?

Okay, now I said that this is what I assumed that he had meant. But what he actually meant was WAAAAYYYY worse than that. What old Rick was saying was this. Who is Obama, a black man, to decide who should be counted as a person? After all, not too long ago, blacks in this country were not deemed human. He does not understand how Obama can now sit there and say that fetuses are not human, worthy of all the rights of a freeman in this great nation. Where would Obama be if the government was still in the game of making such decisions. He would be working in the fields of North Carolina or Alabama, picking tobacco or cotton. He sits in the White House and thinks that he has the right to judge?

That is right. Rich "not in my house" Santorum just compared abortion with slavery. And not only that, he had the gall to say that all African-Americans should standwith him on this complicated and personal issue.

Rick Santorum, you are a douchebag, through and through. So congratulations!!! You have more than earned the first ever, coveted BiFocalPoint Douchey-Point-of-the-Month. Keep being a douche and we will keep recognizing you as such. And good luck in 2012. You're going to need it.

The Gospel-inator Rises In Alabama

Governor Robert Bentley was sworn in as to his new, state-wide role, and then immediately continued with what is apparently his higher mission: bringing new believers into his little known, often subjugated religion. He is not a Scientologist, a Buddhist or even Jewish (or heaven forbid Muslim). Gov. Bentley is Christian. 

Moments into his administration, he told a Church crowd that, "Anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I'm telling you, you're not my brother and you're not my sister, and I want to be your brother." 

Okay, first off, he said this in a church. So chances are, most people there were already Christian. Next off, he is not writing off non-Christians, which would have been bad enough, but rather actively attempting to bring people into the fold. Anyone who wants to be brothers with the Governor need merely accept Jesus Christ as their personal lord and savior. And bare in mind, this decision will bring bigger dividends than simply a potential audience with his honor, it will guarantee you a place in Heaven for eternity. Almost seems like a better perk than the original sales pitch, no?

Now of course, this little foray into an attempt at converting the masses while a government employee, did not go unnoticed. Groups immediately came out questioning it. Some plucky constitutionalists have even pointed out that this statement may have (ironically) broken the First Amendment. It is ironic because while the First Amendment guarantees the right to free speech, little to Christine O'Donnell's knowledge, it also guarantees a couple of other things as well. And one of those little known further guarantees is the separation of Church and State.

Now here, in my humble opinion, is where it really gets interesting. When asked to clarify, the Governor's office released a statement. In that statement, they clarified that "The governor clearly stated that he will be the governor of all Alabamians--Democrat, Republican and Independent, young, old, black and white, rich and poor." Okay, that is a good and solid talking point. But he STILL never clarified if he could be the Governor of any Alabamian who is not Christian!!! It seems that since the issue was about religion, he might have included a caveat promising that he was still your Governor if you were Jewish, Muslim, Mormon, or even a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Alabama is in the top ten most Christian states in the nation. That being said, it is still only seven-out-of-ten Alabamians that Governor Bentley would consider his brother or sister. What about those other three? Are they less likely to a fair trial? Or a chance to air their complaints with an audience of the highest official in the state? What about public funding? 

Bentley needs to decided where his priorities are. He needs to be the Governor of all Alabamians, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Shinto, Atheists (!!!), Mormon and beyond. Or he needs to step down and work for the church. I hear that they are always hiring.

Who Can Say it Better than Stephen Colbert

Colbert, in his full Colbert-iness, has summed up the tragedy well. There is remorse, confusion, anger and humor. Watch the clip here.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Pundits Lay Blame for Senseless Arizona Attack
www.colbertnation.com
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One Person Thinks that the Right Needs to Tone Down their Rhetoric

In the wake of the recent tragedy, one person you might not have expected has come out to not simply ask, but demand, that the right (or at least a large, paid swath of it) tone down their rhetoric.

This person is not a democrat or a journalist (not in any sense of the word anyway). This person is none other than Roger Ailes, the CEO of Fox News.

Now granted, he also implicated "the other side" (MSNBC?) in a need of a new, softer use of soundbites. But this is still quite an admonition, if not outright recognition, of a problem in his own house. Maybe all of these birds falling from the sky has given Ailes. Whatever it is, our country will be better if he can stand by this instruction for more than a long weekend. Time will tell.